Step back

Friday, January 16, 2015

I was never an important person, I was never treated like royalty but sometimes when I think I'm special I tend to get disappointed which brings sadness and depression that is hard to ignore.

For the past few months I have been feeling quite differently and it was kind of annoying how much I have change not only in my appearance but also in my perception on other things. This led me to thinking "why would I push myself into something that is not just for me". It feels like pushing myself into a pit of misunderstanding and I was choking.

I lost my motivation, the eagerness to write blogposts, to read books and the street teams I'm handling were forgotten and I became an irresponsible child, sad, very sad.

But I realized something, It was like a big ball of reality and it hit me, I realized that not everything will go the way I want them to be, I will not have everything I like, I will not experience everything I want to experience but thinking that I tried my best to be that person who seeks every chance to do what she wants is just amazing.

I posted a blogpost about my thoughts regarding the word "lucky" and I read what I wrote and thinking that I created that and I wrote that makes me cringe because I was suppose to tell people to feel lucky but I wasn't not even feeling "lucky".